Saturday Night, 8 PM, 28 year old male, sitting on couch watching network TV. At this point I’m trying to figure out what to do with my night…and all of a sudden the Godfather comes on Network TV. Not, I’ve joined the movie about 18 mins late. The first thing I’m seeing is Luca Brazzi…getting stabbed in the hand and garrotted by the Tattaglia’s after his fake allegiance switching with Sollozzo. I know what happens and I understand the symbols. Of course I do, I’ve both enjoyed and intellectualized the crap out of this film. Ten of my favorite scenes in any film are in this movie (there’s no need to go into all of them, it’s tangential to what I’m trying to point out)…I know them all by heart. I know why I can’t turn this movie off…I’m a film nerd and the Godfather is close to cinematic perfection. (Part II is to films what The White Album is to music….It’s Barry Bonds in the Steroid Era…Mark Sanchez in the second year of his career.) Unfortunately, there are some movies and TV shows I can’t stop watching regardless of how much I’ve grown to hate them. Entourage is the best example of this I can find. Rarely has a show started out so well, created a series of conflicts amongst characters who’s friendships we all get cause most of us have friends with whom we have underlying tensions (note: if you don’t you either a) don’t have friends or b) you’re Mother Teresa back from the dead and reading this…which is spooky). Those tensions made the first two seasons of this show actually endearing and watchable. Then the following events all happened…and the limitations of the concept all became too obvious: 1) The writers got lazy and started writing the same show over and over and over…and over. Every episode wasn’t the same. They just remade the same three episode arc over and over. 2) We realized that no one on this show can act outside Kevin Dillon and Jeremy Piven (who’s character still sucks as he’s a caricature of a caricature of a caricature. 3) Finally, they left the characters in a state of suspended animation. No growth. No redeeming qualities. Just nothing worthwhile. This isn’t just a flaw with entourage. It’s a flaw with a ton of films and scripted television. Fuck, it’s a problem with reality TV. I love Top Chef, but, Padma and Tom are introducing “twists” into the challenges as if it’s the last ten minutes of an M. Night Shyamalan film (who oddly enough is a client of the fictional Miller Gold Agency…this is like the cross-pollination of sucking beyond all possible belief.) Why can’t we stop watching something so formulaic. I’ve given a lot of the reasons as to why these characters and shows are just awful, but it really can be told much more simply: there is no believability to their existential crises. And yet, I can’t look the other way. I don’t think this is a case of actually identifying with the characters. Vince nailing a model from behind doesn’t resonate with me…cause I’m boring and have all my sex in one of two fashions and I’m not getting with any models and time soon (ok, actual live female models). If I’m attached to these characters, God help me. I think it’s just that I don’t like giving up on something where I’ve invested time and effort. That, and I think that I, like almost everyone else…is senseless devoted and loyal to shit that we’ll never explain or be able to (note: that is not a knock on religion…ok…it definitely is). On that note: I will always care for, Nicole “Snooki” Pilezzi. I hope she finds the tan, juiced up guy she’s looking for. Snickers for life.